The trouble with our husbands

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By Zawadi Lompisha

I love my husband. He is the best thing that could ever happen to a wife and I am glad that I am the wife that it happened to. I could not wish for any other, but sometimes he drives me up the wall.

He is the only guy who can have me swooning in love on one day and the next day I am bursting in annoyance. Talking to some of my girl friends reveals a similar trend and we have recently come up with a list of what we think is part of the trouble with our husbands. But I repeat, I love my man and will not trade him for another so for any potential pirate reading this, make note. He is not available.

“Darling, we need to call the plumber. The kitchen sink has a leak.” This is a typical request from a wife to her husband, when something around the house needs repair.

“Let me look at it,” he will reply and that answer will have a wife somewhere cringing within herself.

I long ago discovered that “let me look at it” is actually a translation of “let me destroy it some more before we call a plumber”, or something to that effect. As soon as he bends over at the kitchen sink, the result will be a flood in the kitchen or wherever the sink is, which will only be stopped by shutting down the main water meter. This phenomenon repeats itself over and over in anything that needs to be fixed around the house, because hubby must first look at it.

What troubles me is that when the right technician is finally called in, he will comment that it seems that somebody made what was initially a small problem worse and so we end up spending much more money on the repair than we would have.

Why do husbands believe that they are jacks-of-all-trades? He thinks he can fix the leak, repair the slabs, fix the car engine, straighten the curtain rail and so on? Sisters, are you with me?

Wandering eyes

This one is a favourite with many of my friends. You are in the car; hubby is driving. There’s a lady walking on the side of the road and before you know it he is almost ramming into the car in front because he lost focus as he was looking at her. Or you are having a meal together at a restaurant and suddenly you notice his eyes are trying to pop out of their sockets as they struggle to look at a passing woman.

“Show some respect guys!” a friend of mine exclaimed. “You are with your wife, for heaven’s sake. At least pretend you only have eyes for her and not to every woman within sight.”

Late for dinner

You have prepared a lovely and elaborate dinner for your husband after making sure you got home early. He knows it and promised to come home early. My husband did this to me on his birthday.

At 7.30pm he calls to say that some work has held him at the office and he won’t be coming home early after all. It is not lost on you that he is calling at 7.30pm and not at 5.00pm.

What is irksome to me is his inability to appreciate the effort put in for his sake and the insensitivity of not calling early enough to let you know that he will be late. An early call would have helped you to postpone the dinner to another day and saved you all the trouble you went through for his sake.

Matters are only compounded when he comes home and tries to make up for his lateness with some excuse like: “You know how work is!” It is enough to want me to do some elaborate damage on his face.

The newspaper

Why is it that he only decides to read the newspaper when the children have gone to bed? Wives with children will identify with this.

You come home in the evening and from the doorstep are met by your five and three year olds. They will be all over you for the next two hours and you absolutely cannot have a decent discussion with your husband. At 8pm you finally put them in bed and come to the sitting room to find hubby hidden behind the newspaper.

Attempts to get a conversation going are met with grunts and soon you get the idea that you are disturbing him. So when are you meant to catch up?

I need to talk to my man, but he thinks the newspaper makes a better companion than me! What can be more irritating?

Did I tell you?

This one is a classic. “I forgot to tell you that I invited my mum over for lunch tomorrow?” or “Did I tell you that I was invited for a business lunch today and I am expected to attend with my wife?” He expects that giving you a one-hour heads up is sufficient enough notice. Somehow it does not occur to him that you could have planned something else for that time and he leaves you with no option to refuse.

The trouble with that is it usually leads to conflicted schedules and unnecessary conflict between us as we try to reach a compromise. It also jeopardises my wardrobe, as I would have appreciated enough time to prepare what to wear. He does not help matters when he offers help by suggesting, “just wear a dress”! Is he for real?

The trouble with husbands is that it does not matter how long you have been married to them. Changing the trouble with them is the riddle my girlfriends and I seem to be unable to crack. Does anyone have an answer out there?

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