Miracles in marriage

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By Zawadi Lompisha

Next week is Christmas and Christians look forward to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ.

If you were Mary and Joseph, these would have been a hectic couple of weeks on donkey to Nazareth. Mary is due any time now and it must have been a nightmarishly tiring journey. The mothers reading this need no further details. Well, for Joseph, if he is anything like my husband, it was no better.

My husband has always spoken of my pregnancies and eventual delivery as the most helpless and trying times for him. His helplessness comes from the fact that despite being solution oriented by nature, this is the one time his solutions come to nought. He cannot help me carry the load, which gets heavier by the hour and can only watch as I grimace in pain during labour. His attempts at comfort have even been met with what he can only call hostility from me. Many a husband will identify with him.

poor joseph

For Joseph, it was not only a trying moment but he was also not responsible for the conception. How’s that for adding insult to injury? The pregnancy, as the Bible tells us, was as a result of a miraculous conception. Joseph had nothing to do with it, but was still undertaking this arduous journey together with his pregnant wife. That is called dedication and commitment in my books. The guy must have had to endure the murmurs and sly looks that the society threw his way when Mary was found to be pregnant. That is a man right there!

I have been thinking about that miracle of Jesus’ conception in relation to my own relationship. As I did that I realised that a husband and wife can identify many miracles in their relationship if only they care to look.

It is a miracle to me that a man and woman get to identify each other as possible marriage partners in the first place. The world currently has a population of six billion and counting. Going by recent statistics, Kenya alone is trying very hard to reach the seven billion mark! That’s a by the way to my point.

living together

My point is how do you identify this one man or woman out of all these people as the one you want to call your husband or wife? The proverbial needle in a haystack comes to mind. That you can actually do that and secure them for yourself at the altar is my first miracle.

After securing your lifelong partner, the second miracle is actually being able to live together. You both come from very different persuasions and so each individual’s outlook to life is unique. You get married and actually manage to have a life together without killing each other. You begin to understand each other and and eventually, as people say of people who have been married for long, you begin to think and even look alike! Why wouldn’t you call that a miracle.

he finds me attractive

The joy of love is surely right up there as one of the miracles of marriage. More than a decade after getting married, my husband still has the effect of taking my breath away as I sit across him and listen to his voice. The way he holds me that leaves me melted in his arms can be nothing short of unreal. I am forever amazed that he still finds me attractive, many years and two children later. I certainly do not see myself as he does. That is love. The Holy Book says that love never fails. For a mere mortal to have that kind of love for another, can only be surreal — miraculous.

For my husband and I to come together and make a baby that takes on our likeness surely must be a miracle. Forget what the scientists will say; anybody who has had the privilege of being part of bringing into this world a tiny human being cannot disagree when I declare that they facilitated a miracle. I will never forget the day I held our firstborn to my chest. I could have eaten her, so smitten was I. She lay her head on my chest and even with the haze in her unfocussed eyes, looked up at me as if to say, “it’s nice to finally see you mom”. Oh! And the closeness I felt to my husband as he stood there in the delivery room looking down at us is indescribable. What else can you call such a moment, which replicated itself with the birth of our secondborn?

Having watched some friends of mine adopt children and get to love them as their own flesh and blood, convinces me that one of the greatest miracles that a husband and wife have, is the choice to be a part of bringing up a family. Nothing can beat that.

look and you’ll see

These are but a few of what I can easily pick out as miracles in my own marriage. You will probably come up with many others for your own relationship. I will urge you to take a pause during this festive period and have occasion to celebrate the miracles in your own marriage that should tell you that it is well worth the effort.

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