Top in Dar es Salaam

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By T Mochama

The Past

The past, some say, is another country! So is Tanzania, with its capital city of Dar es Salaam where a young and cocky musician ruled the musical roost by crowing many top hits — Zeze and Siamini for example. But then success got to Mr TID’s head, and he began to bring mezesha wherever he went, assaulting his admiring groupies and beating up other vijana in bars loosely here and there. Luckily for TID, he was a pugnacious pugilist who seldom lost a bout –— so his boxing record was zero losses, a few draws … and a knock-out in his favour.

The Present

But like all good things, even winning fights can go too far. Like when you knock teeth out, cut someone with a beer bottle, and they haul you to court. Which is what happened to TID. Not impressed by his fame or convoy, a magistrate unleashed a one year prison sentence on the bongo star. Now, if you’ve ever spend even a weekend in cell (as this astrologer has in his star college days), it’s like a week. No wonder TID collapsed in court when his darning sentence was read out.

When he woke up, he was in a shower room in Segerea Prison, with sengenge outside. Once other inmates had revived him in the in-house, they ‘worked’ on him if (wink-a-wink) you know what I mean. Nothing says ‘target me’ like a celeb in a prison cell — and TID was subjected to thoopings regularly. His record in jail? No draws, no wins, thirte fae losses (thirteen by TKO). Nooooo!

The Future

After three months in the sh** house, Kikwete pardoned TID as a petty offender. And once TID had cleansed himself in their local ‘River Jordan,’ (yaani, kuoga uchi), he declared he has found God! But actually, Nyambane has found him, and they will collabo on an album Prison Voice (although the only prison Baby Jay has been to is the cells in Goka-Gola stadium). This can only end in four ways….

(a) TID will join Nyambane’s ‘Altimate Band’ as the lead singer alongside Linda Muthama, Grandmaster Masese on the obokano.

(b) He will go to exile in Mongare’s safe house n grow ‘pananas’ in Gusii.

(c) He will become a very serious prison preacher.

(d) TID, the gay activist!

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