Yes, let’s talk sex with our children instead of ranting at them


Published on 18/10/2009

By George Nyabuga

When the Centre for the Study of Adolescence revealed that girls as young as 12 had not only had sex but also multiple sexual partners, and that some were engaging in prostitution, there was almost a collective grief across the country as print and broadcast media gave the news prime coverage.

Of course, the report was wont to make news, particularly as Kenya is a seemingly conservative society where parents or guardians hardly talk sex with their children. What is more worrying perhaps is that the children do not use protection, and that such simple material things like mobile phone airtime, chips and sanitary pads were enough to buy their innocence.

The ‘deterioration’ of morals, rising promiscuity, unwanted pregnancies, rising cases of Aids and other sexually transmitted diseases is a worrying trend, particularly because Kenya is a nation with a young population whose future all of us should be interested in, and more importantly, protect.

That young women and men have sex is nothing new though. In a world where the young increasingly consume sexually explicit media, especially music, videos and other texts, and where parental guidance is often lacking due to various commitments, there is often a likelihood that such issues will occur. But to blame the media is to assume there are hardly any other socialising agents, or that these young beings imbibe such media texts without thinking about their consequences. How many times have we heard that explicit material contained in hip hop music, for instance, contributes to bad or immoral behaviour and that they encourage truancy and delinquency, and sexual behaviour that may contribute to spread of Aids?

In a highly heterogeneous society, people are often said to select what they want to use, and that the consumers derive various and disparate gratifications from such consumption. In other words, if the generalisations or conclusions emergent from the research are true, or applicable throughout the country, there ought to be a critical examination of the way we raise our children, and particularly consider what interventions can be put in place to address this ostensibly serious problem.

However, although there is little doubt that sex among the young is now commonplace, and that girls and boys are becoming sexually active much younger, the report creates a moral panic that should not be taken lightly.

What this research has done, besides probably drawing awkward generalisations or conclusions, is demonise a group; perhaps implying that the evil they do is wounding the substance and fabric of society.

Moreover, the claims implicitly label our young as folk devils, and deviants threatening the well-being, basic values and interests of society. The claim makers and moral keepers at once see a sub-cultural group that defies society, and creates a binary opposition of us versus them, the good versus the bad.

In other words, there is the good old people versus the randy and promiscuous young people whose ways are culturally unacceptable and who are legitimate and deserving targets of self-righteous anger, hostility and punishment.

Often what this does though is to create some resistance from young people who are labelled sexually licentious merely because the sample used in the research engages in constant and dangerous sexually activity, or that it is too small to draw widely applicable and valid conclusions. For this licentious behaviour and ‘new’ malady, which the Kenya National Association of Parents (KNAP) called "shocking", many prescriptions, some of them outrightly obnoxious, have been offered. How else, for example, would one characterise the suggestion by KNAP secretary-general, Musau Ndunda, that the legal marriage age should be raised from 18 to 28 years? His argument that "marriage certificates should be issued to parents who can bring up children based on sound morals" smacks of ignorance particularly because there are many factors that contribute to child development and behaviour.

In other words, it is imperative to look carefully, examine the situation, and prescribe efficacious solution that do not demonise the young.

—Nyabuga (gnyabuga@standardmedia.co.ke) is the Managing Editor, Weekend Editions and Media Convergence.

 

 

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