Steps to control anger before it takes over your life

Mohamoud Merali

Anger can damage your relationships, opportunities and result in physical violence that could change your life.

The management of anger includes counselling where exploration can be made into the sources of anger such as negative childhood or adult experiences.

When you are upset take time out by stepping away from a particular situation or the person who is upseting you. This may involve a short brisk walk, leaving a room for a breather or simply taking deep breaths and silently counting one to 10 before responding to the situation. Exercise is a great way to release pent up stress and frustration, the root cause of anger. Take a brisk walk, jog, and swim, play to help manage anger.

Relaxing scene

Some people prefer to visualise a relaxing scene or have a particular phrase that helps instantly change their mindset. Others listen to their favourite song, paint or meditation to soothe and calm down. Humour is an excellent way to release aggression. Simply think of a funny joke or imagine yourself or the other person in a silly situation to get your mind away from your anger.

Keep a journal where you write about what made you angry. Talk yourself down by asking questions such as: Will your anger help the situation? Is it really that big of a deal? Think about what you would do and how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. This strategy helps you gain a different perspective about situation that has caused you feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, disappointment, or anger.

Master the ability to recognise stress and learn to reduce it. If left unchecked stress turns into anger.
Replace angry words such as "I hate", with calm ones.

Empathy also helps in building better relationships with people.
Controlling your thoughts is important to determine how you will handle the situation, Master the ability to communicate assertively and . Learn to adjust your expectations to adjust to difficult situations and people.

— The writer is a consultant Counselling Psychologist at Aga Khan University Hospital

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