Provoked drunk wears a condom in public

By Joseph Muchiri

A middle-agedman caused a stir and drew astonished stares recently when he unzipped his trousers and proceeded to wear a condom at a popular bar in Nairobi’s South B estate.

A frequent customer at the joint, the man, a bachelor, is known to abhor female company. He usually drinks his beer silently and never orders a round for anybody.

But after the frothy liquid takes its toll, a foul mouth takes over and he insults women in the pub admonishing them that their judgement day is imminent, as the HIV/Aids scourge would devour them all.

Tension

An eyewitness says that on the fateful day the man coolly sipped his beer while engrossed in thought. A tipsy prostitute approached him, sat next to him, playfully kissed him on the cheek and tried to embrace him.

He immediately shoved her away, rose from his seat and dashed outside. He then made towards his house at a high speed.

Initially, the patrons were surprised at his odd reaction and thought he was going for a weapon to teach the woman a lesson, or was fleeing from the horrible disease he had predicted would wipe out such women.

Tension rose when a few minutes later, the man stumbled back into the pub holding a packet of condoms.

"Njeri nindacoka. Githi nduranyenda ona niwahura kici? Ni cio ici kondomu. Ndirenda itheru! (Njeri I’m back. It’s clear you want me because you kissed me. Here are condoms, and I’m not joking,) " he declared.

At this, people burst in howls of laughter at the man’s apparent stupidity and comical manners, but this did not deter him.

Condom

He went up to the woman and sat in her lap but she pushed him away. He hesitated a little then opened one of the condoms. Seeing he was serious, she rose from her seat and went to sit on a high stool behind the counter. Still determined, he followed her and what he did next dazed all present.

Without warning, he undid his belt, lowered his trousers and began wearing the condom.

By now the people had had enough of the weird drama while some thought he was mad. Immediately, the pub’s bouncers seized him, beat him and kicked him out. They warned him to keep off the pub.

Feeling cheated, the man stood on the road and began screaming, "Nindacunwa muhiki (They have taken away my woman.)" He threatened to remove his clothes and put on the sheath in front of passers-by and school children.

Onlookers who had by now got fed up with his embarrassing strip show carried him shoulder high to his rented room.

Many days since the incident, the man has not been spotted in that pub. Sources claim that he leaves for work early and returns home late in the night to avoid being seen.

 

 

 

 

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